


Regroup

by StormyBear30



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-17
Updated: 2011-03-17
Packaged: 2017-10-17 01:27:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/171488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyBear30/pseuds/StormyBear30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kris is forced to lie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regroup

Kris was a nervous wreck as he sat before the large desk of the record producer who either was going to make or break his struggling career. However, he could tell by the look on his face and the way that his manager twitched and ticked beside him that it was going to be anything but good news. “You’re second album hasn’t even become a blip on any of the music charts. In fact in terms of sales it is the lowest sophomore album in American Idol history” The man spoke, his voice tight and unfriendly as he pulled out several sheets of paper and handed them over to Kris and his manager. “We here at the label have been very patient with you Mr. Allen, with your divorce and giving you time to move on, but our patience is wearing very thin now. We are in this business to make money and to be perfectly blunt with you Mr. Allen; you haven’t made us much money as of late”

Kris felt as if he wanted to cry as he closed his eyes for a moment and took in a deep breath before speaking. Music was his dream and it had been an amazing ride, but since his divorce from his wife, he had found himself feeling disconnected from his dream in ways that he couldn’t understand. It wasn’t like he wanted to give it all up, but he found that he wasn’t as passionate, sometimes feeling almost lost as to what he wanted to do in terms of his career and the music that once meant everything to him. “Tell me what I have to do” He said, closing his eyes once again because something told him that he was about to sell his soul to the devil.

“This is your last chance Mr. Allen” The suited man continued, placing his hands on the large desk in front of him. “Adam Lambert’s sophomore album far exceeded even our wildest expectations. From the moment it was released it started climbing the charts and hasn’t stopped yet. His has been the largest selling sophomore album in American Idol history and we here at the label couldn’t be happier with his progress. In fact the pre-sales for his next album are already through the roof”

“What does Adam Lambert have to do with me?” Kris asked, glaring at his manager who continued to sit beside him in stone cold silence. “We are completely different people and have completely different music styles”

“Yes, this is true, but I brought him up because he is making this company lots of money and you are not” The man reminded, glaring down at Kris for interrupting him. “You and Adam were great friends at one time and we think that if you were to ride his coat tails so to speak then he could help bring some exposure to your album”

Kris was flabbergasted, his mouth opening and closing several times before he found the will to speak again. “I haven’t talked to Adam in over two years. Do you actually think that he is stupid enough not to figure out that I’m using him to advance my record sales if I call him?”

“Not if you call him Mr. Allen, when you call him” The record executive yelled, slamming his fist of the desk loudly. “You have no other options Mr. Allen. You either call Adam Lambert and get back in his good graces or you take your non-record selling ass back to the sticks where you came from”

Kris was more then a little angry as he locked eyes with the man across the desk from him before turning his stormy eyes towards the still silent person beside him. “This was all your idea” It finally came to him, when the man who had worked beside him for the previous four years finally looked at him.

“Adam Lambert has been infatuated with you since American Idol. He’s a multi-leveled superstar and racking in millions for himself and this label. Why not capitalize on that and get your career back on track” The manager explained with a shrug, before lowering his eyes to the floor because even after many years in the business, even he knew that what they were asking Kris to do was wrong. “He’s back in town for the next week and this is the perfect opportunity”

“How can you ask me to do that to him?” Kris asked, his heart hurting because despite the fact that he hadn’t spoken to Adam in years, he still considered him somewhat of a friend. He wasn’t even sure why he had stopped talking to him, and yet he knew it had been him that had ended the friendship as he recalled text messages and voice mails that had gone unanswered for months before they stopped coming at all. “Adam’s a good guy. Maybe if we ask him to help out he will. I hate the idea of deceiving him like this” Kris couldn’t believe that he was actually considering what the men were proposing to him and it made his heart hurt even more.

“We had his manager try talking to him about you several months ago, but he refused to let her even finish the sentence. Whatever you did to end your relationship is all on you. It will be you that places that call and you that somehow makes him believe that you want to be friends again”

“So what you are telling me is that you want me to lie to him?” Kris asked, gearing up to leave because he already knew the answer. “Fuck that…” He yelled, standing up. “You can’t make me do this. I refuse to lie to Adam in order to sell a couple of records”

“You will do it” The executive’s voice boomed loudly behind him as he reached for the door handle. “Or…we will sue you until you have nothing left but the clothes on your back. Trust me Mr. Allen…you do not want to fuck with us” Kris could tell the threat was real as he turned and found the man glaring at him so hatefully that he thought he could feel the heat of it on his skin. “Now sit you ass down and you call him right now” He pointed at the chair he had just left. Kris wanted to defy the man and leave, but he found his feet taking him back towards the chair, his rear end meeting the cushion as he looked up at the angry man. “Very good” A fake smile appeared on the mans face as he pushed another piece of paper Kris’s way. “Now…here is what you will say to him”

Kris felt as if he were about to cry yet again as he read the sheet of paper, his heart feeling as if it were climbing into his throat as he reached for his cell phone and dialed the familiar number. ***Please go to voicemail*** He pleaded in his head as the phone rang in his ear, thanking a higher power when it did just that. “It’s his voicemail” He practically boasted, shoving the phone back into his pocket as he prepared to leave once again.

“Call him again Mr. Allen and this time leave a message” Closing his eyes, he swallowed hard as he retrieved his phone yet again and hit the redial. “Make sure that he doesn’t suspect anything” The threat was real as Kris listened to the phone ring in his ear once again, locking eyes with the towering man before him.

“Hey…hey…Adam” He stammered, taking a deep breath, his stomach lurching as he got up and walked away from the desk and the two people staring after him. “Hey Adam…it’s Kris” He started again, hating what he was being forced to do, but finding himself out of options as he ignored the script in front of him and began to speak on his own. “I know it’s been awhile since we’ve spoken, but I was wondering if you wanted to get together. I know you’re probably angry at me, but I’d like to talk to you about it and hopefully make it up to you. Give me a call when you get this message. I’m sorry Adam” He whispered, shutting off the phone, glaring at both of the men before storming out of the office.

Kris was sound asleep when his phone rang, Adam’s name staring back at him from the tiny screen. He fell into a full blown panic as he held the phone before his eyes, breathing so hard that his breath was fogging up the glass. He wanted to just ignore it, but thought better of it as he hit the send button and placed the phone to his ear. “I didn’t think that you would call me back so quickly” He said into the mouth piece, mentally cursing himself for his stupidity and lack of manners. “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean that. Fuck…Adam are you still there?” He asked when Adam had yet to speak.

“Wow…I’ve been waiting almost three years to hear from you but I never thought it would be like this” Kris heard Adam finally speak, but he couldn’t tell by the tone in his voice if he was joking or not. He had no idea what to say as the awkwardness of the phone call hung between them. “Why now Kris?” Adam asked, the hurt in his voice tearing into his gut and his heart but not surprised in the least by how direct he was being.

“I missed you” He replied somewhat truthfully because he truly did miss Adam after he severed the ties between them.

“Then why did you do it? Why did you cut off all communication with me?” Adam continued with his questions and with each one his voice got lower and more painful to hear. “If you missed me so fucking much, why didn’t you ever once return any of my phone calls?”

He knew that Adam deserved some of the truth as he took a deep breath and prepared himself for whatever Adam threw at him once he was done. “My marriage was falling apart and I had to do whatever I could to save it. Katy was always so jealous of the friendship between us, constantly telling me that I cared more about you then I did for her and…” He couldn’t finish his sentence as he bit his lip and tried to hold back the tears burning his eyes.

“And…” Adam urged him to finish, his voice heavy and with a tearful quake to it as well.

“She was right” He rushed out, the tears finally pouring from his eyes as the pain that he had been holding within himself for so long bubbled to the surface. “Our marriage had been over for a long time, but neither of us wanted to admit it. I was ok with just going along with the flow and pretending that life was wonderful and then I met you and…your friendship just became everything to me and…” He stopped again because he didn’t know how to finish that sentence without admitting that he had not only cherished the friendship between the two of them, but that he had also fallen a little bit in love with him as well.

“It meant everything to me too” Adam filled the dead air, wiping at his eyes, his heart so happy to finally hear from the man that he had missed everyday for the previous couple of years, but also so confused at the anger he felt lingering there. “You broke my heart when you stopped talking to me” The anger took over for a moment because he knew he had to speak it before they could even consider becoming friends again. “I racked my brain night and day for almost a year trying to figure out what I had done to you to upset you so badly that you didn’t want me in your life anymore. You could have told me that you needed to work on your marriage and I would have understood, but you just shut me out, threw me to the curb like a can full of garbage and now out of the blue you want to be friends again. I don’t know if I can forgive you for the way that you hurt me” He was frank and he knew the words hurt the man on the other side of the line, but he had to admit that he felt better for saying them because they had been eating away at him for far too long.

“I understand that” Kris assured, one part of him wishing that Adam would tell him to fuck off so he didn’t have to go through with the record company’s plan, but the other not wanting to let go if there even was a slight chance that he could get into Adam’s good graces again. “I know that telling you that I’m sorry isn’t even close to what I need to do to take the hurt away, but I am sorry and you have to know that it ate me up inside everyday knowing that I just shut you out, that I had hurt you. I’m a horrible person and I don’t deserve a second chance, but you have the kindest and most loving heart I know and because of that I’m asking for one” Time seemed to go on forever as he listened to Adam’s shallow breathing across the line.

“I have to go Kris. My release party is tonight for my third album and I’m already extremely late” He spoke quickly, refusing to make any snap decision about his friendship with Kris until he really had a chance to think about it. “It’s going to be a really busy week for me, but I have your number and maybe I’ll call you when I have time” He knew it was a lie, knew that he was going to call, but he liked the idea of making Kris squirm just a little before he did.

“It’s all I ask Adam and I really am sorry for not calling before now”

“Bye Kris” He wanted to call him back the moment he ended that call, but he forced himself to stand tall as he put his phone into the pocket of his pants and left for his party.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Adam heard his best friend ask him as he stood at the bar, staring off into space, not enjoying the festive party going on all around him in his honor.

“Nothing…” Adam lied, taking a sip of the drink he’d been holding for the previous hour.

“I’ve known you for a lot of years and in the last several years I’ve gotten to know this look pretty fucking well. Did he just show up at your place out of the blue or is this somber you from a fucking phone call?”

“Brad…please” Adam sighed, downing the rest of his drink, nodding at the bar tender for another one.

“Don’t Brad please me” The shorter man shouted, lowering his voice at the curious stares he started to receive from the other guests. “Jesus Christ…he really did get in contact with you didn’t he?” He asked again, glaring up at his former boyfriend as if to dare him to lie.

“He called me” Adam relented, knowing that Brad was going to just keep prodding until he got his answer.

“Why the fuck did you answer in the first place?” He questioned, cursing the cosmos for bringing Kris Allen back into Adam’s life. “He fucking broke your heart Adam. Why the hell would you allow him the chance to do it again?”

“I didn’t answer ok?” Adam replied angrily, snatching his new drink from the bartenders hand and downing it in one go. “Another” He rasped as the vodka burned down his throat and into his already churning stomach.

“Well shit…that’s great news” Brad whooped, invading Adam’s space as he went in for a hug.

“He left a message and I called him back” He didn’t say anything as he watched the relieved and carefree look on Brad’s face turn sullen and angry as he stepped back away from him.

“You know what when it comes to Kris Allen you’re a fool Adam…a fucking fool” He yelled in full out anger, not caring that people were staring at him as he grabbed the fresh drink placed on the bar in front of Adam and stormed away with a flounce of anger and glitter in his wake.

Adam knew that it wasn’t proper protocol to leave your own release party early, but he really didn’t care as he tracked down the few people he had to say goodbye to before having his assistant call for his car. He was more then halfway home when he found himself digging out his cell phone and dialing a number that he knew he shouldn’t be. “There’s an all night diner on Sunset, meet me there in twenty minutes” He said into the phone the moment it was answered, not even giving the person a chance to speak before he disconnected the line.

The coffee tasted almost toxic as he sipped from his second cup wondering if he had done the right thing by placing the call. In the back of his mind Brad’s words kept replaying in his head as to how much of a fool he was and despite the fact that he knew Brad was right, he also felt that he could be wrong. There had been such a strong bond between him and Kris from the very moment they had met and despite the pain and the fact that nearly three years had passed, he still felt it with just one phone call.

“I didn’t expect to hear from you so quickly” Kris said as he sat down in the booth across from Adam, his entire body shaking and yet he wasn’t sure it if was from the nervousness eating away at him or the fact that he still felt a strong instant attraction to the beautiful man sitting in front of him.

“Coffee?” He asked, not waiting for Kris to reply before signaling towards the waitress. No words were spoken as she brought over an empty cup, asking each of them if they liked to order anything else before walking back behind the counter.

“You look amazing Adam” Kris broke the silence, taking in the highly polished look that was purely Adam. “You’re the only man I’ve ever known that can wear glitter and rhinestones and make it look so manly, yet beautiful”

“And you look like shit” Adam blurted out, his defenses high and yet he wasn’t sure why. “Sorry…I didn’t mean it the way that it came out” He apologized, running his fingers over the rim of his empty cup in a nervous fashion. “I mean…” He hesitated, looking at Kris’s face once again. “You look tired”

“It is two in the morning” Kris smiled half heartedly, before leaning back against the over stuffed cushion at his back. “But the truth is I’m just worn out. After the divorce everything just kind of fell apart. My parents stopped talking to me because they felt I didn’t fight enough for my marriage. Katy took me to the cleaners and got half of everything, but I didn’t really care about that because I felt it was what I owed her. My second album was released and tanked and now the fucking record company is threatening to drop me for something that was their fucking fault” He rushed out, hoping that he wasn’t dumping too much on Adam too fast.

“I heard it” Adam admitted, breaking eye contact with Kris as he found fascination with the lip of his cup once again. “It was so different from your first one” He finally looked up and locked eyes with him once again. “I felt like it wasn’t you, that you weren’t connected to any of the songs on it. It didn’t have any of the depth and emotion that the self titled had. You sounded almost robotic”

“Three years and yet you still can read me like a book” Kris sighed, tears misting his eyes as he gazed over at Adam. “Everything you said is the truth. I wanted to sing the songs I had written about my life and experiences and they felt they were too dark, too full of emotion and instead hired a team of writers to write that shit that ended up on the album” Closing his eyes he took a deep breath before speaking again. “I wished more then anything during that time that I hadn’t pushed you away, because I knew you would have pushed me to take control of my life and my album, but at that time I just didn’t have it in me to care much about anything”

“You don’t know that Kris” Adam replied softly, his own throat achy due to the tears wanting to push their way outwards.

“I do know that. You’ve been my backbone since we met; there is no doubt in my mind that that time wouldn’t have been any different” He declared, staring Adam dead in the eye because he wanted him to see that it was the truth. “You were always there for me when I needed you” He looked away because the pain of his betrayal to Adam was becoming far too much for him to bare. “I was just never there for you in return” Several tears bled from his eyes, pursing his lips together because he felt as if he were about to fall apart right there in the middle of the diner.

“You were there for me for a long time and then you were just…gone” He whispered the last pain filled word as he reached over under no thought of his own and gathered Kris’s hands into his own. He stared at them for a long time before continuing. “You hurt me, not that I keep meaning to bring that up” He squeezed the warm hands within his. “But you’re right, I do have a kind heart and I forgive you” He smiled playfully at the tearful man across from him. “It’s going to take some time, but as long as you promise not to ever leave me like that again, then I think that we are already on our way to becoming friends again”

“Just like that…you can forgive me” Kris stammered, not caring that he was openly crying for everyone to see because it didn’t matter as long as Adam was willing to forgive him. He had forgotten at that moment about the true reason he had sought him out, his only concern in that Adam meant those words and the friendship that once meant the world to him had a chance of coming back together again.

“Well in the words of my dear friend Brad” He grinned, making a mental note to himself to make amends with Brad later that day. “When it comes to you I’m a fool…a fucking fool”

“He hates me doesn’t he?” Kris asked, not really caring either way because since they had met there hadn’t been any love lost between the two of them.

“He just doesn’t understand the bond between us” Adam supplied, squeezing Kris’s hand once more before releasing it and going back to playing with the lip of his coffee cup.

“I don’t think that anyone understand it” Kris smiled widely, taking a sip from his own cup, a full grimace covering his face. “Now this is some horrible shit” He laughed loudly, ignoring the roll eyes he got from the waitress as she took that exact moment to walk past them.

“I know, but no one ever comes here this late and I wanted to talk to you in public before we decided to go any further” Adam explained, biting at his bottom lip as he looked over at Kris. “I’d wonder what I would say to you if we ever met up again and of all of the ways that I thought it would go, I never expected it to be this way”

“How did you imagine it would go?” He didn’t want to ask, but did anyways.

“You don’t want to know” He chuckled, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet. “I have an early day tomorrow so I think that its time we call it a night” He threw a twenty on the table before getting up. “What’s your schedule looking like this week?”

“Sitting around and feeling sorry for myself and my floundering career” He tried half heartedly at a joke, it being anything but as an unsettling silence fell between them. “I’m sorry…it was supposed to be a joke”

“Is it really that bad?” Adam asked, his brow furrowed because for the life of him he couldn’t understand how such an amazing talent as Kris could truly be in so much danger of his career ending.

“It’s pretty bad” He spoke truthfully, already knowing that the moment he attempted to lie that Adam would know. “The record company doesn’t know what to do with me and until they do, I wait” His stomach began to quiver as he recalled the true reason for trying to get in good with Adam hit him again. “I’ll be fine though” He smiled, pushing himself out of the booth in order to break the awkwardness.

“Of course you will” Adam smiled, but Kris could tell that it was forced as he moved away from the booth as well, the two of them exiting the diner. “This week is really kind of insane for me” Adam said as he and Kris stood before the car waiting for him. “I’m leaving for my European tour in a few months and there is always so much to do”

“Yeah…” Kris responded with his own attempt at a smile, sadness coming over him because it had been well over a year since he had stepped foot of a stage and up until that moment he hadn’t realized how much he had missed it. “Look…I know you’re busy Adam and you really don’t need someone like me getting in your way. Just…” A long shuddering breath was taken because he really didn’t know what he wanted to say.

“I’ll call you. I promise” Adam assured as he lifted Kris’s chin up with his index finger, forcing him to look up at him. “It’s been almost three years and now you’re back. I’m not going to just let you go back to wherever the hell you’ve been all this time. I’ll call you…promise” He repeated with a smile that lit up his entire face, causing Kris to tear up yet again.

“You forgive me….just like that” He sniffled, his lip trembling at Adam’s touch and his words despite his effort to stop it.

“Just like that” Adam continued to smile at him, the air leaving his lungs as the smaller man reached upwards and wrapped his arms tightly around him. “Ok…I have to go” He pushed back a little when old memories flittered through his mind. “I’ll call you or you can call me. You have my number” He smiled again, shooting a wink Kris’s way before sliding into the backseat of his car. “Fuck…” He breathed out once the door was closed and he knew Kris couldn’t hear or see him, finally allowing the old feelings of love and want he always seemed to have for Kris wash over him.

“Home, Mr. Lambert?” He heard his driver ask, forcing him out of the past.

“Yes James…please” He nodded towards his driver, slouching against the coolness of the leather, his mind troubled as he replayed the entire conversation with Kris over and over again in his head. He knew that he shouldn’t want to after so many years apart, but he found himself wanting to help Kris is some way and yet he didn’t know how.

 

“So is it true that you dated Anson Oliver?” Adam asked a few days later as he and Kris chatted on the phone while he got ready for a radio interview. “Because I have to admit that I was shocked to hear that the American Idol season eight winner was rumored to be dating…a man” He whispered the last part, trying to make it playful when deep down inside he was dying to know the answer and a bit hurt at the same time.

“It’s true” Kris admitted, chucking at little at the intake of breath he heard from the other man. “Although for a very short amount of time”

“You…dated…a…man?” Adam dragged out the words as if trying to understand what he heard was true.

“You can’t really be that shocked by this” Kris chuckled again, closing his eyes and expelling his own breath because he hadn’t realized how much he had wanted to tell Adam the truth about himself.

“I just thought you were comfortable with us gays. I never thought you might be one of us” He tried to play it off as a joke, but Kris could read the hurt there and it nearly broke his heart that he was still hurting Adam with his lies.

“I should have told you when we were living in the mansion, but honestly I wasn’t ready to admit it to myself much less anyone else” Kris began to explain. “I’d been dealing with my attraction towards men for a few years before I even met you and if I want to tell you the truth, when I did meet you, you kind of scared me”

“I scared you” Adam repeated confused. “Why?”

“You hadn’t even told me that you were gay yet, but I knew” He said, deciding to be open and honest about everything with Adam from then on, except for the humungous lie the record company was forcing him to partake in. “You were so strong and confident and that scared me because I knew I wanted to be like you and yet I knew that I could never be. I have to admit that I was and still am a little bit jealous that you can live you life out in the open like you do. You can date who you want and you don’t care what anyone has to say about that. I wish that I could be like that”

“So let me get this straight…” Adam ignored the last comment, still trying to get his head about the fact that Kris Allen was into men. “You’ve dated men before?”

“Yes…” Kris answered calmly, trying to suppress the smirk trying to reach its way across his face.

“You’ve fucked men before?” Adam went on undeterred.

“Personal much” Kris laughed. “But yes” He answered, his cheeks reddening even though Adam couldn’t see it.

“You’re gay?” Adam squeaked, taking a deep breath and clearing his throat in order to get his voice under control.

“I’m bi…I guess” Kris shrugged his shoulders, knowing that once again Adam couldn’t see him. “I’ve dated a few men and woman in the last couple of years”

“What’s the ratio?”

“Of men to women?”

“No of dogs to cats” Adam snapped, not liking the playful tone in Kris’s voice at all.

“Since my divorce…one to three”

“One man and three women. Sounds like experimenting to me Kristopher” Adam scoffed, the hurt starting to turn into annoyance that he had even considered Kris being gay, much less getting upset about it.

“Three men to one woman and the woman was actually a date set up by the record company. I got drunk, we fucked and she somehow seemed to linger around for a few months before she drifted off towards the next bigger star” Kris spoke up, a little bit annoyed that Adam was being so flippant about something so important to him.

“I have to go” Adam replied quickly, flipping his personal assistant off when she tired several times to get his attention. “I just…” He stammered, unable to finish his sentence. “I have to go” He repeated, ending the call and ignoring his bickering assistant as he walked past her and into the studio. Taking a deep breath he tried to focus on the radio announcers sitting before him, but his mind kept wandering back to Kris and the conversation that they had had.

“You know I realize that you pay me a lot more then most of my P.A. friends make, but that doesn’t mean that you can treat me like you did today” He heard Samantha his assistant say as she sat beside him in the car once the interview was over. He felt bad, but he didn’t say anything as he looked out the window and watched the Los Angeles scenery fly by as they headed off to yet another radio interview. “The next interview is with the king of planet Neptune”

“Ok…” He replied, not having any clue as to what he had said to him.

“They want you to describe in full detail what your penis looks like and then the king wants you to fuck him”

“Sure…whatever” He continued to reply without really hearing, his mind still on Kris and the news he had sprung on him. He still wasn’t sure why it was bothering him so much, but it was and it was pissing him off in more ways then one. “Wait…what?” He turned to face Sam when some of her conversation finally began to filter through.

“Oh…I have your attention now” She glared at him, more then a little annoyed with her boss that day. “Look…I don’t know what’s going on with you today, but snap out of it. You do realize that you sounded like a complete moron at the last interview. The D.J. kept asking your questions and you either didn’t respond at all or you sounded like you were on crack” She knew she could be straight forward with Adam as she put down the phone always in her hand and really focused her attention to the man who clearly had something weighing heavily on his mind. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No…” He responded quickly, smiling at her as much as he could without it looking totally fake. “I’m sorry about before. I’m just trying to deal with something that I heard today that is really fucking with my brain, but that was no reason to take it out on you”

“Is everything ok with your family?” She asked quickly, full of concern because she had been working for Adam for nearly five years and she loved them almost as much as she loved her own.

“Everyone’s fine” He assured with a real smile as he reached forward and squeezed her hand. “I promise to be better this go round” He laughed at the roll eyes he received from her as the car door was opened and they both stepped out into the beautiful California day.

“I didn’t think that you would call me back” Kris said hours later as he sat on the side of the pool in his backyard, a beer in one hand, his phone in the other.

“Why not?” Adam asked as he sat in the backseat of his car on his way home after dropping Sam off at her apartment after the interview.

“Well you seemed pretty freaked out about the fact that I’ve been with men” He took a big swig from the bottle, placing it beside him as he enjoyed the feel of the sun across his naked chest.

“What are you doing right now?” Adam ignored the remark, his stomach grumbling loudly at that exact moment.

“Taking in the sun” Kris grinned, leaning back and closing his eyes as the sun continued to warm his skin.

“Well take a shower and get dressed. I’m starving and I want to go out tonight” He ignored the mental image of a sweaty and shirtless Kris as he informed the driver that there was going to be a change of plans. “Are you still living in the same house?” He asked, realizing that he really had no clue about Kris other then he was now into men.

“No…” Kris replied as he stood up, grabbing the empty beer bottle before walking into his home. “Katy got it in the divorce. I bought another house, something smaller and more my style” He went on as he strode into the bedroom in search of something clean to wear.

“Well are you going to tell me where you live or do I have to guess?” Adam snipped, his stomach in need of food in a desperate way. “It’s kind of hard to pick you up if I don’t know where you live”

“Picking me up on our first date…what a gentleman” Kris shot back, falling into a fit of giggles at the dead silence he heard for a moment before Adam fell into laughter along with him. “I’ll see you in twenty minutes” He continued to laugh as he hung up the phone and headed for the shower.

“Wow…Adam Lambert eating” Kris teased as he watched Adam practically devour the meal in front of him. “I remember a time when I had to practically force feed you”

“Well back then I just had to look at food and I gained weight, now I’m always so much on the go that it seems that I can’t eat enough to keep the weight on” Adam explained with a grin as he grabbed another bread stick from off of the table and bit into it.

“Well you look great, not that you didn’t look great before” He amended quickly with a blush, knowing how sensitive he used to be about his weight.

“Flattery will get you everywhere” Adam winked before signaling the waiter for another bottle of wine. “So tell me how you ended up dating the dreamy Anson Oliver?” He decided to change the subject, dying to know the details of how Kris had ended up with one of the most handsome soap stars on daytime television. “Don’t leave out anything” He dared, pointing at Kris with a goofy grin as he refilled their glasses once the wine had arrived.

“We met at a fund raiser” Kris began, taking a sip of his wine before continuing. “Katy and I were still trying to make it work, but we both knew it was over” Sadness started to take over, but he pushed it away as he looked at Adam across the table. “He had heard that I had just come back from Africa on my good will mission and he wanted to talk to me about working together”

“Yeah…I bet” Adam laughed, adding more wine to each of their glasses.

“It started out legit at first” Kris giggled, covering his mouth with his hand because the wine they were drinking seemed to be taking effect. “Katy and I split up right after that event and he and I just seemed to hit it off. I didn’t even know he was gay until one night we were at his house working out the details of an upcoming charity event and he just kissed me. I was shocked at first, but then I realized that I was kissing Anson Oliver and I just went for it” He giggled again, picking up his glass and drinking more then half of it before placing it back on the table.

“He is hot” Adam agreed, emptying the remainder of the bottle into Kris’s glass before searching the restaurant for their waiter. “Another bottle” He practically shouted when he spotted him from across the room.

“He’s a horrible fuck though” Kris spoke under his breath, just loud enough for Adam to hear.

“Really?” Adam asked, his inebriated brain trying to figure out in what alternative universe he was having this type of conversation with the thought to be straight Kris Allen.

“He’s an amazing kisser, don’t get me wrong” He continued to explain. “But, he slobbers” He giggled even louder that time, taking yet another sip of his wine. “He likes to lick all over and by the time we were done I was soaking wet, smelling like stale alcohol from the beers we had been drinking earlier. It was horrible and then afterwards when all I wanted to do was take a shower and go home, he decided that he wanted to do it all over again. I was so disgusted that I couldn’t even get it up” His giggles got louder; as yet another sip was taken from his glass.

“Oh my god that does sound disgusting” Adam giggled right along with him, refilling both of their glasses once again.

“So what about you…is it true that you and Stephen Davenport got it on?” Kris decided to turn the tables on Adam. “I mean it was all over the tabloids that the two of you were an item for the longest time” He hated to admit that he had kept tabs on Adam while they weren’t speaking, but let it slide as he reached for his wine glass.

“He sucked my cock in the men’s room at one of his movie premiere’s and then proceeded to gag and choke when I came down his throat so hard that he threw up on my brand new leather shoes. Turns out that he got more then he could swallow in his bi-curious experiment” It was Adam’s turn to giggle as he recalled stepping out of the men’s room and literally walking into the largest Hollywood blogger on the planet. “I didn’t say anything to him, but he put two and two together and it hit the blogs the next day. It was just that one time, but damn if people didn’t try and make it more then it was for months afterwards”

“I think that you scarred him for life” Kris laughed right along with Adam as they each finished off their glasses, both trying to get the waiters attention when they realized the bottle was once again empty.

“Probably.” The dark haired man grinned. “Did you really hit a fan with your microphone?” He asked, not believing the tabloid he had read for a second because he knew how much Kris loved his fans.

“You bet your ass I did” Kris replied, laughing yet again at the shocked look he received. “It was during one of my shows. I was leaning over and singing to her and she reached out and grabbed my package. I was so shocked and in so much pain because it wasn’t like a tiny squeeze, it was a huge I’m trying to take them with me grip” He laughed even louder at another crazy look from Adam. “She had a grip on them like you couldn’t believe and it was just automatic. The tabloids made it sound like I just went up to her and bopped her for no reason, but they didn’t have to deal with the swelling and bruises I had to deal with for the next couple of days” They both shifted and grimaced at the same time before falling into even louder laughter. “I could hardly get through the show after that”

“I’ve had that happen so many times to me and yet I just don’t understand why they feel they have the right to do it”

“It was the first time and hopefully my last” Kris sighed, feeling the mood somber a bit. “Is it true that you have a love child with Lady Gaga?” He asked, trying to lighten the mood, but the look on Adam’s face looked anything but happy or light as he picked up his glass and downed the entire thing. “Shit…is it true?” He asked again, unable to understand the idea of Adam having a child out there with her, or anyone for that matter.

“It’s partly true” He finally spoke after a lengthy silence. “She did ask me if I would consider donating my sperm because she was ready to have a baby and didn’t think that she would ever marry or find love. I was all for it at first, but then one night I was at my mothers house and I asked her what it was like when I was first born. I hadn’t told her anything about my decision, but I was curious as to what it was like the first time she got to see me after I was born. As she was talking I could actually feel her happiness and understand what it must to have felt like to be a mother, to share in everything that your child does from then on and I couldn’t do it. I realized that when I decide to have a child that I want it to be for the right reasons, that I want to be part of that child’s life until the day I die, not just the donor who may or may not see his kid from time to time”

Kris felt his throat tighten; his eyes grow misty as he gazed at his one time best friend from across the table. “I think that I’m a little bit in love with you right now” He blurted out with a wistful smile. “I didn’t know that you wanted to have kids”

“I didn’t either until that moment” Adam blushed. “But I do and when the time is right and I find that special someone who wants to raise kids and grow old with me then we will take the necessary steps. What about you? Do you still want to have kids?” He decided to shift the line of questioning back to Kris because he was starting to feel uncomfortable.

“I’m an old country boy at heart. I’ve always wanted to have a huge family, and that didn’t change when I finally admitted to myself that that family might include a husband instead of a wife”

“I think that I’m a little bit in love with you as well” Adam joked, although part of him really did mean it. “And on that note I think that it’s time that we get out of here”

“Wow, when did it get that late and when did I get this drunk?” Kris chuckled when he slid off of his chair, almost falling to the floor due to a pair of wobbly legs. “Shit…did we really go through four bottles of wine?”

“Five, the waiter took the first empty away” Adam snorted, pulling out his credit card when the waiter appeared.

“Adam no…let me get it” Kris argued, trying to remove his wallet from his jeans, almost hitting the floor once again.

“Next ones on you” He waived him off, signing the slip presented before him with a large tip for the waiters troubles. “Come on Allen…lets go” He wrapped his arm around the shorter mans shoulders as he guided them out into the night air.

“Adam…Kris over here” They heard their names being screamed, their eyes blurry and unfocused as hundreds of flashbulbs exploded before them. “Is this a date?” Another person yelled. “Are you two together?” Yet another person screamed, as the two of them blinked several times while trying to get their baring about them. “Is Kradam finally real after so many years?”

“Kradam is real, but not in the way you guys are thinking” Adam finally got his wits about him, taking a deep breath as he tried to maneuver the two of them towards his waiting car. “Kris and I haven’t seen each other in a long time and we are just two friends having dinner and catching up” He smiled his brightest smile at the men tripping over themselves trying to get picture after picture.

“Kris…what’s the deal with your latest record because I got to tell you man it fucking sucks. Are you hanging out with Adam in hopes of reviving your tanking sales” They both heard one of the photographers say above the others, causing them to stop in their tracks at the rudeness.

“Fuck you. I bet you wouldn’t know good music if it came and bit you on the dick” Adam hollered back, ready to stalk over to the man and beat the shit out of him, but a hand on the small of his back stopped him. Adam had always had a good relationship with the paparazzi, usually giving them what they asked for by not holding back in terms of answers, but he found himself protective of Kris and willing to toss that good relationship in the garbage along with the stupid man along side it.

“It’s not worth it” Kris spoke loud enough for only Adam to hear as he tightened his grip around Adam’s waist and forced him into the back seat of the car in front of them.

“Fucking jackass” He shouted, punching the leather seat in order to do something with his hands other then punch the shit out of the jerk still snapping pictures out side their car.

“Could you please take me home” Kris asked the driver, as he slunk back into the seat, not saying a word because the truth of the photographers question hit directly on the mark of what he was trying to do.

“You can’t let those jerks get to you like that” Adam spat out, his previous anger starting to diminish.

“I know” Kris replied meekly, avoiding Adam’s eyes at all cost as he looked out the window. “I’m ok” He lied, closing his eyes and feeling even more like a piece of shit as Adam took his hand into his larger one and just held it. The guilt ate away at him even more as they drove towards his home in silence, because as much as he hated to hurt Adam he knew that for his own selfish reasons he had to continue with the plan. “I’ll call you later” He avoided Adam’s eyes yet again as he slipped his hand out from under his and trotted as fast as he could towards his front door once they arrived there.

Adam could tell that something else was bothering Kris as he watched him disappear inside, but he pushed it aside because he didn’t want to pry too deep into his life out of fear that Kris might pull away from his once again. “Home Mr. Lambert?” He heard his driver ask, but he had no words as he nodded yes before closing the divider between them.

Kris didn’t call Adam for two days, avoiding his phone calls as well and with each one missed Adam found himself getting more and more pissed off. He had a feeling that Kris was hiding something and after talking to a few people here and there from the record company, he had an idea of what it might be. He hated that Kris was hiding something as important as that from him and he was determined to make him see what an ass he was being for it. “I know you’re in there” He yelled at the top of his lungs, pounding on the front door of Kris’s house several days later. “Let me in Kris or I swear to god I keep screaming at the top of my lungs until your neighbors call the fucking cops” Taking a deep breath he proceeded to do just that until the front door was opened and he was jerked inside. “About fucking time” He huffed towards Kris, ignoring the dirty looks as he stalked into the living room and plopped down on the couch.

“What do you want Adam?” Kris asked curtly, arms folded tightly across his chest as he stood off to the side of the couch.

“I talked to the record company” He decided to be straight forward, more then a little aggravated with the shorter mans attitude. He watched as a full look of panic crossed Kris’s face before he fell down on the couch beside him.

“I…I can explain” Kris stammered, his heart pounding so hard within his chest that he felt as if my might vomit right there in front of Adam.

“Of course you can explain, but I don’t understand why you felt the need to hide this from me. I mean, I know that we haven’t hung out in a long time, but you know that you can always be honest with me Kris, that I won’t ever judge you” Adam assured, reaching out and taking Kris’s hand into his own. “You do know that, don’t you?”

“How can you even look at me, much less even be sitting here beside me?” He jerked his hand from Adam’s, jumping up off of the couch as he walked towards the other side of the room. “I’m a horrible person” Tears sprang to his eyes as the guilt of what he had been planning to do to Adam thick within his throat.

“You gave Katy everything in the divorce and now you’re pretty much broke, why would that make me think any less of you?” Adam asked confused as he got up and walked over to where Kris stood, forcing him to look up at him. “You’ve always had the kindest heart and when it came to Katy you never could deny her anything. I wasn’t surprised to hear that you pretty much gave her everything, because that’s just the kind of guy you are” Adam hugged Kris tightly, frowning at the tremors that he felt coming from his body.

“Adam…no” Kris pushed himself away. “I…that’s not it and…” Kris stammered, trying to find the right words to tell him about the lies that had brought the two of them back together.

“You’re coming on tour with me” Adam ignored his bumbling, a smile lighting up his face.

“What?” Kris asked, unsure that he had heard him correctly.

“It’s just a short one through Europe, but I think that it’s what you need to promote that album and get some money back in your pocket” He smiled even wider, trying to pull Kris back into his arms because he had craved Kris hugs something fierce while they were apart and he was determined to get them every chance that he could now that they were back together again.

“No…” Kris pushed him away, moving as far away from Adam as he could.

“No?” The word felt like lead in his mouth as he watched Kris pace back and forth from across the room.

“No Adam…I can’t do that to you” He knew that Adam had no idea what he was talking about, but as much as he wanted to tell him, he now found himself petrified that if he did that he would lose him forever and that was something that he just couldn’t do.

“Can’t do what to me?” Adam was confused at the look of outright fear on Kris’s face. “You’re not doing anything to me. I’m trying to help you”

“I know you are” Kris rushed out, rushing across the room and throwing himself into Adam’s arms. “And it means the world to me, but I just can’t” He pulled back, refusing to meet Adam’s eyes as he sat back down on the couch because he felt as if he was going to fall at his feet at any moment and spill his dirty little secret.

“Is it me? You don’t want to hang out with me anymore?” Adam asked, trying to keep the insecurity out of his voice, but knowing that he had failed when Kris ended up in his arms once again.

“I don’t want to lose you” Kris cried out, holding onto Adam so tightly that he arms ached from the pressure and yet he continued to hold on. “I can’t lose you Adam”

“You won’t. I’ve already told you that I have you back in my life and there isn’t anything that will break us apart again” He rasped, fighting a little bit for air at the vice like grip that Kris seemed to have on him, but he didn’t care as he pulled the smaller body in just a little bit tighter.

“Adam…I need to tell you something” He spoke into the lightly scented shirt under his cheek, his cell phone taking that exact moment to ring before he could speak any further. “Be right back” He smiled sadly at the taller man, stepping away as he pressed the phone to his ear. “Hello…”

“Jesus Christ you are a fast mover. I don’t know what you did to get him to agree to this tour so quickly, but holy fuck don’t stop whatever it is” Kris heard his manager practically yell into the phone, pulling it back from his ear just a little as he walked into another room. “The record label is biting at the bit to get you out there with Adam and get those sagging album sales up” He went on, making Kris sick to his stomach.

“I can’t do this” Kris whispered, looking around to make sure that Adam wasn’t nearby. “It’s wrong and it’s going to hurt Adam when he finds out”

“He won’t ever find out as long as you keep your mouth shut” The manager snapped, something loud banging in the background. “You listen here you little fucker…it’s all in motion now. The label has even agreed to pay to have all the media redone. You do this or trust me they will make you pay. You can just kiss you career goodbye and they have enough lawyers to sue you until you don’t have even the clothing on your back. You will do this Kris and you will keep your mouth shut about it” The line went dead after that.

“Kris…you ok?” Adam asked walking into the kitchen when Kris hadn’t returned, finding him standing in the middle of the floor, staring at the phone in his hand with tears in his eyes. “Shit…is it your family?” He rushed over towards him, grabbing onto his arms and shaking him when he didn’t respond. “What the fuck is it?” He asked again about ready to go into a full fledge panic.

“Nothing…” Kris lied with as much as a smile as he could muster. “I just want to thank you for doing this for me” He couldn’t look at Adam yet again as he burrowed into arms he always felt safe in.

“I’d do anything for you Kristopher Allen” Adam murmured against the top of his head as he hugged him even tighter.

Silently Kris cried upon Adam’s shoulder, because it was true and he knew it.

 

Kris was exhausted as he stumbled into the hotel room they had been set up into for the night. He could hardly keep his eyes open as he eyed the bed with a dreamy smile before falling backwards on it. He listened as his personal assistant puttered around the room, going over his itinerary for the next day, but he heard none of it as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. “You know you’re so much younger then me and yet you act as if you are an old man” He heard a voice whisper in his ear as he slowly opened his eyes and glanced over to the person lying beside him. “Tired baby?” Adam asked him, reaching out and trialing the tips of his fingers down the sides of his face. “I hate that you can’t sleep on planes” Kris wanted to respond, but all he could do was smile, closing his eyes and allowing the gently heat of those fingers to lull him back to sleep.

He woke up several hours later, still tired, but feeling so much better then he had before he had fallen asleep. A sleepy smile crossed his face as he rolled over onto his side and found Adam curled up beside him. He looked so peaceful and beautiful as he fought the urge to lean over and kiss the full lips before him, but he held strong as he rolled onto his back again, recalling the craziness that had been the previous month with Adam. Everything had happened so fast after that day at his house. One minute they were making plans for the upcoming tour and then the next they were jet setting it overseas. The tour was intense and crazy and except for the jetlag and fact that they rarely had a moment where either of them wasn’t doing something, Kris loved it. He loved every moment that he got to spend with Adam and their friendship had fallen rather quickly back into their regular pattern. There was constant hugging, holding, and body contact, and yet not once had either of them crossed the line into something more. It wasn’t as if Kris didn’t want to push the boundaries of their friendship, but Adam didn’t seem to be interested and he was too fearful that it would ruin what they had for good if his advances weren’t returned. So he accepted what he got and relished every moment spent together.

The tour itself had been a rousing success. The fans were more then excited to see Adam and Kris back on stage together and rather quickly his album sales began to rise. Despite the fact that he knew Adam wasn’t crazy for his new album, he promoted it for Kris every chance that he got, giving nothing but glowing reviews as he encouraged anyone that would listen to go out and buy it. Kris still felt guilty about the lie that had started it all, but the few times that he had tried to tell Adam about it, he had been cut off and told that he didn’t want to hear whatever it was. They were together and everything else was in the past he constantly told him and as much as Kris wanted to fight it, he actually started to believe it.

“I figured you’d be passed out for a couple of more hours” He heard Adam mumble next to him, pulling him out of his thoughts as he rolled back onto his side.

“I am, just had to get up and use the bathroom” He lied, shifting off the large bed as he stumbled into the bathroom.

“We have two whole days off after tomorrows show” Kris heard Adam say as he walked out of the bathroom, finding him with arms out open for him as he lie sleepily against the pillows. He didn’t hesitate to crawl into them, closing his eyes when the heaviness of the comforter surrounded him, but also the warming embrace of his arms. “What do you want to do?” He vaguely heard him say across the top of his head as he began to drift off to sleep rather quickly once again. “Other then sleep” The vibrations of Adam’s laughter was the final straw that put him over the edge as he curled deeper into his arms and gave up all pretense of trying to staying awake.

“You never answered my question last night” Adam grinned over at Kris as the two of them eat breakfast the next morning, lying across the bed from each other.

“Sorry” Kris blushed, popping a grape into his mouth before devouring the bacon and eggs before him. “I tried to answer you, but I was out before I could even form a word”

“So…two days off, what do we do?” Adam asked again, digging into his own breakfast.

“Where are we again?” Kris blushed even harder, because truth be told he really had no idea where he was most days when he was on tour.

“Jesus…some things never change” Adam laughed good naturedly, throwing at grape at Kris, then ducking when he threw it back. “Germany” He replied, taking a sip of his tea. “I’ve already got the hook up to the best clubs, so the nights are taken care of” He chuckled at the roll eyes he got from Kris, but knew that he would go along with whatever he had planned anyway. “But I thought that we could hang out and take in some of the culture during the day”

“I can’t believe that you’re not sick of hanging out with me already” Kris snorted, it coming out as a joke, but in the back of his mind he felt just a little bit concerned that he might.

“Well there are a lot cooler people that I could hang out with, but I wouldn’t be able to really enjoy myself because I would be worried about how sad and pathetic you are all alone” Adam tried to keep the smirk off of his face, laughing out loud at the playful glare he received from him, the breakfast tray knocked off the bed as Kris lunged forward and pinned him onto his back.

“I’ll give you sad and pathetic” He teased, locking his knees around Adam’s lower body, the tips of his fingers running up and down Adam’s heaving sides.

“Mercy…mercy” Adam cried out, laughing so hard that he could hardly breath as Kris continued to torture him with tickles. “Kris…stop” He cried out even louder, his laughter coming to an abrupt halt when a hardened cock brushed against his already hardened one. “Oh god…” He moaned, closing his eyes when the tickling stopped, but the movement of the lower body straddling him didn’t. “Kris…” His voice was rough and heavy as he wrapped his arms around the middle of his back and flipped the two of them over. It was the control freak in him, but he didn’t care as he stared deeply into lust filled eyes, his body in motion on its own as he leaned forward with all intents to get his lips in on some action as well.

“Let’s go Lambert…” He heard an irritated cry, followed by a loud pounding on the hotel room door. “Come on man…we’re late already” The irritated voice of Tommy continued to yell, not caring that it was still quite early and there were other people possibly sleeping in the rooms surrounding them. “OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR” His cries got louder, his pounding more insistent. Kris was out from under him before he even realized it, opening the door and rushing past Tommy before any words could be exchanged. Tommy looked from the empty doorway to the bed where Adam lie on his back, an arm covering his face, not even trying to hide the hard on poking through his pajama pants. “Fuck man…I’m sorry. I didn’t know”

“I have to take a shower” He ignored the man who at least had the decency to blush as he rolled off of the bed and locked himself in the bathroom. “Shit…” He breathed towards the mirror as he stared at the flushed and confused image looking back at him. “What the fuck have we done?”

“I don’t know what you are so upset about” Adam heard Danny Gokey say as he sat alone in the car sent to pick him up later that morning. “You’ve wanted Kris for as long as I’ve known you and now you have the chance to have everything you’ve ever wanted and you’re freaking out”

“Of course I’m fucking freaking out” Adam cried out loudly, leaning his head against the coolness of the window as he tried to make sense of what was going on. “Sorry…” He spoke quieter knowing that Danny hated whenever he cursed in front of him.

“It’s ok” Danny chuckled because he could tell that Adam truly was confused about what had happened between him and Kris. “Adam…you’ve been in love with Kris for so long. I think that you just need to talk to him and I’m sure you’ll see that you’ve been freaking out over nothing”

“I’ve tried to talk to him, but he won’t even look me in the eye” Adam sighed, his heart barely beating in his chest as he recalled going to Kris’s room once he had finished getting ready and how he kept his eyes glued to the floor for the few seconds he spoke to him. “I went to his room and all he said was that he’d decided to take his own car to the venue and then he closed the door in my face. I think that pretty much sums it all up”

“Well…I don’t” Danny replied, feeling bad for his friend because he had been the one that had helped him through his last bout of Kris induced depression. “I don’t believe for one second that Kris doesn’t feel the same way about you that you feel for him. Last time he had to try and do what was right by his wife, but I always felt that he loved you even then Adam. I bet now that he’s scared and worried about the same things you are. Just talk to him and you’ll see”

“You know I’d never thought I see the day where you would be rooting for two men to come together” Adam smiled, despite his pain, thankful that in the previous three years Danny had turned out to be a great friend to him.

“You know why Adam” He heard the sadness in Danny’s voice and it made him feel bad for bringing up such painful memories.

“I know” And he did know because it had been what had brought the two former enemies together as friends in the first place. Adam had been more then a little confused when Danny had just showed up at his hotel room out of the blue one night during a stay in Nashville for a show. He knew that Danny had relocated to Tennessee when his country album had gone gold, but never in a million years had he expected to see him while he was there for a show on his tour. Adam had been on his way out the door to an after party, just stopping off at his hotel for a shower and change, but never ended up leaving the room after Danny had begged to be let in. The silence at first had been nerve altering as they sat on opposite sides of the couch in the living area of the room, but by the end of the night they were sitting together as Adam held him within his arms. It turned out that his best friend, someone that he had known since they were in preschool had committed suicide just a few days prior. Danny hadn’t been there when it happened, but had received a letter in the mail the very day that his friend had put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. The note was brief, yet pain filled as he explained to Danny that he could no longer live with the lies of his sexuality. He admitted in ink that he was gay and had been hiding it from Danny from about the time they had entered high school together. He knew due to their religion and the way they had each been brought up that neither Danny nor his family would accept him and he felt death was the only way out. Danny had been shocked at his friend’s admission, but more so horrified because he knew those words to be true. Before his death he would have never even considered accepting a lifestyle of homosexuality, but afterwards he vowed to change his ways and sought out Adam the moment he heard he had been in town. They had become extremely close friends ever since.

“You deserve to be happy Adam and if Kris is the one that is going to make you happy, then you’ve got my full love and support” Danny’s voice broke him free from his thoughts, bringing a smile to his face. “I love you Adam”

“Love you too man…love you too” Adam returned the sentiment, meaning every word of it. “I’m at the venue. I’ll call you later” Disconnecting the call, he climbed out of the car once the door was opened determined to speak to Kris and declare his feelings for him once and for all. The problem with his plan was that Kris avoided him like the plague from the moment he entered the venue, only fifteen minutes before the show was to start. On stage as they sang together, he acted as if everything was fine, joking and laughing with Adam as the audience before them ate it all up. Afterwards he rushed to Kris’s dressing room, more then a little smelly and dripping with sweat, only to find his personal assistant packing up his things with no answer as to where Kris had disappeared to. He was more the a little pissed off and disappointed that Kris was acting the way that he was as he sulked on the couch in his own dressing room, ignoring Tommy when he walked into the room and plopped down beside him.

“So you and Kris huh?” Tommy asked, not understanding the look of irritation on Adam’s face. “Look man…I said I was sorry” He misinterpreted the look, falling into full defense mode when Adam still hadn’t spoken a word. “How the hell was I supposed to know that you and Kris…”

“Me and Kris nothing” Adam cut him off, jerking his tall frame off of the couch as he glared down at the blonde man. “What you saw was a mistake and trust me it won’t fucking happen again” He didn’t give Tommy a chance to say anything as he strode angrily into the bathroom, slamming the door loudly behind him.

Shaking his head with a chuckle, he reached into his pocket and plucked out his cell phone. ***Where is the little hobbit?*** He texted to Kris’s personal assistant and his secret girlfriend.

“You know I hate it when you call him that” He laughed when she chose to call him instead of texting back

“If it looks like a hobbit and acts like a hobbit…then it must be a hobbit” He snorted, giving the same line he’d been repeating over and over again since he had pegged the singer with the nickname after the first time he had met him. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Kris per say, but there was the fact that he knew the whole story between him and Adam and it made him somewhat protective of his fearless leader. “Seriously…where is he? Adam’s all pissy and I know it’s because of what happened between then earlier today”

“What did happen between them today?” His girlfriend asked, because after grilling Kris for hours after she had retrieved him from his room, he still hadn’t told her a thing. “He was quiet as a mouse all day and when I asked if we were riding to the venue with Adam he mumbled something about a mistake and then told me that I needed to reschedule the car because we weren’t going until right before the show”

“I think they were about to get it on” Tommy whispered, checking the bathroom door to make sure that Adam was still hiding behind it. “Well…before I started kicking and screaming at their door that is”

“About fucking time” She replied, slinging her purse over her arm as he exited Kris’s dressing room.

“I still don’t think that those two together is a good idea, but Adam’s so fucking head over heels in love with him that I guess he really doesn’t matter what I think”

“Kris is the same way, but I have to tell you since this tour has started he’s been acting so strange. I can’t explained it, but there is just something off about him”

“You know when you say things like that its really hard not to make all kinds of rude and crude remarks” Tommy giggled, blushing like mad despite the fact that no one could see it. “So…I ask again. Where is the hobbit right now?”

“He’s already at the club you boys are going to tonight”

“Perfect. You going to be in your room later?” He asked as he ignored the quizzical look he received from Adam as he exited the bathroom.

“What are you planning in the devious mind of yours Tommy?” She asked, thinking that she probably didn’t want to know after all. “You know what…don’t tell me” She spoke up as she entered the car waiting for her. “Yes…I’m going to be in my room later. You plan on joining me?”

“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away” He smiled, trying to become serious as Adam continued to look at him. “Gotta go…” He hung up the phone before anything could be said, giving Adam a fake bored look as he headed for the door.

“We’ve been here one day and you’ve already found someone to hook up with” Adam smiled, flicking Tommy in the ass with his wet towel. “That’s my baby” He said with a flounce, rushing over and planting a wet kiss upon his grinning cheek.

“Fuck you” Tommy laughed, wiping the wetness from his face. “We’re all heading over towards the club first. You going?”

“I was, but now I think that I am just going to go back to the hotel and rest”

“The fuck you are” Tommy shouted, taking Adam by the hand and pushing him into the makeup chair located in front of the dressing room mirror. “You are not going to sit in your hotel all night and sulk over the hobbit” He mumbled under his breath, reaching into Adam’s make up kit and pulling out the bottle of foundation.

“Did you just call Kris a hobbit?” Adam laughed despite himself, deciding rather quickly that Tommy was right and that he needed a night out on the town.

“If it looks like a hobbit and acts like a hobbit…it must be a hobbit” He returned with his own laugh, diving back into the makeup back once he had applied the right amount of foundation to Adam’s face. “I happen to know for a fact that Sam Wise is already at the club and its time to make him see what he’s missing”

“You are very hot” Kris heard a males voice speak against his ear as he sat at the bar nursing his third beer of the evening after the show had ended. “Can you allow me to buy you a drink?” The guy asked in broken English as he sat down on the stool next to Kris.

“I’ve already got one, but thanks” Kris replied quickly, hardly glancing at the man as he took a sip from his glass.

“You wanting to dance then?” The man asked, not detoured by the brush off at all.

“I hate dancing” Kris replied sullenly, finally turning to face the persistent man. He was a bit younger them him, but extremely good looking and as much as Kris found himself attracted to him, it was another that he wished was there beside him instead. “Run off and play Junior” He turned back to the bar, downing the rest of his beer and signaling the bar tender for another.

“Mine name is Josef” He was corrected before he leaned over towards the bartender and exchanged a few words in German before an even larger glass of beer was placed in front of him. “Berlin’s best” The twink smiled at Kris, taking a sip from the glass before handing it over for him to do the same. Kris wanted to fight him, but Adam took that exact moment to walk up to the bar and before he knew what he was doing, he took the glass and downed more then half of it in one go. “Another?”

“I’d love another” Kris smiled over at the man, trying to ignore Adam as he walked up to the bar.

“I need to talk to you” Adam said as he stood on the other side of Kris, glaring daggers at the hot young man vying for his attention.

“I’m busy” Kris barely looked over his shoulder at him before turning his attention back towards Josef”

“Then get unfucking busy” Adam growled, grabbing onto Kris’s arm and forcing him to turn and face him. “We need to talk about this morning” He tried to take Kris’s hand so he could lead him from the club, but the younger man had other ideas as he spun Kris back towards him, hefted him over his shoulder and like a cave man dragged him onto the dance floor.

Adam saw red, ready to go over and beat the younger man down, not caring in the least that it could end his career if the paps got wind of it. “Easy…drink” He heard Tommy say, sitting down on the bar stool that Tommy had placed behind him. “He’s confused, just give him some time and he will come to his senses”

“Right…after he fucks that fucking blonde twink” He growled, watching as Kris made a fool of himself on the dance floor.

“Trust me, he won’t be fucking the blonde twink tonight” He replied with a smirk at the way Kris was watching Adam, while trying not to watch Adam. “Now drink up and forget about the hobbit”

Adam wasn’t sure how many shots he had consumed and he didn’t care as he downed yet another one that had appeared before him. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Kris who was still dancing with the blonde kid, his jaw clenching each time that either of them got remotely close to each other. “Come on lets dance” He vaguely heard Tommy say as his hand was grabbed while he jerked and stumbled on his way to the dance floor. “You keep grinding your teeth like that and you won’t have any by the time you leave this place” He heard Tommy yell against his ear, but he didn’t care, clenching his jaw again when he saw pretty boy put his hands on Kris’s hips. However, he nearly lost his mind when those same hands moved to his ass.

Tommy couldn’t help but grin as he watched Adam finally grow a pair, stalking over towards Kris and the younger man, pushing him away and giving him a look that even dared him to challenge him. He felt bad for him for about half a second and then remembered how much it was costing him for the little show he had paid the blonde man to put on for Adam and thought differently. He nodded as the twink caught his eyes and motioned with his head towards the back of the club. He watched for a moment as Adam moved in behind Kris, wrapping his arms around his chest as they began to move together. It wasn’t long before Kris turned around, wrapping his arms around Adam’s neck before leaning up and kissing the shit out of him. He knew that they were both drunk, but he was hopeful that they would somehow get over their stupidity and be the power couple that he knew they were meant to be. He still wasn’t crazy for the hobbit, but he knew that Adam loved Kris and that together they would make beautiful music together.

“Mmmmm” Adam moaned as a weight of some sort shifted on top of him, his dick springing to life when it did it yet again. His lower torso took on a life of its own as it began to mimic the movements, his breath becoming ragged and uneven as his manhood continued to pulse and grow. “Mmmmm” He moaned again even louder, opening his eyes and looking down at the body pressed against his. “Fuck…” He cried out, shifting out from under the body as he watched the man look up at him with sleepy eyes, they becoming round as saucers once he realized who he had been humping in his sleep. “Oh no you don’t” He cried out when Kris made a break for the hotel door as he had the morning before, but Adam was quicker as he grabbed onto his foot as he stumbled off the bed, the two of them crashing onto the floor. “You’re not running away from me again” He shouted, closing his eyes at the wave of pain the blazed across his forehead.

“Adam please” Kris begged softly, his head pounding like mad as he closed his eyes and laid it on the soft carpet.

“No…not this time” Adam replied, pulling himself up with some effort before reaching down and helping Kris up as well. “We need to talk and I know that if I let you go this time you will only pull father away from me”

Kris didn’t even try to argue or put of a fight as he allowed Adam to sit him on the edge of the bed because he knew it was the truth and he really didn’t want to lie anymore. “I love you” He whispered, eyes closed for a second as he gathered himself up enough to open them and look up at the man standing in front of him. “I know it’s wrong to say it now, probably wrong to say it ever, but it’s true”

“I’ve been in love with you for longer then I ever really should have” Adam responded with a winch as he kneeled down before Kris, wrapping his arms around his waist as he laid his cheek upon his overly beating chest. “The moment I spoke to you after you left me that message I wanted to tell you that I still loved you, that I would always love you” He held on tighter, afraid to look up at Kris out of fear of what he would find staring back at him. “I want to kiss you so bad, but I feel as if something has died inside my mouth and I’m sure I look just as bad” He finally got up the nerve to look up at him, a playful smile on his face.

“Even hung over you look amazing” Kris smiled back, tears in his eyes as he leaned forward and stole a quick kiss from Adam regardless of the smell. “But yeah, something really did die in there” He stuck out his tongue, causing them both to laugh. “Come on, lets get cleaned up and get some rest and then we can talk about what needs to be talked about later”

Adam didn’t hesitate to allow Kris to help him up that time as the two of them walked into the bathroom, sharing a toothbrush before undressing together and stepping under the spray of the shower. Simple kissing and body touching were exchanged as they bathed each other, eventually crawling back into the oversized bed. “You’ll still be here when I wake up right?” Adam asked, fighting to keep his eyes open as Kris snuggled within his arms, breath wafting warmly across his chest. It didn’t take Adam long to fall into slumber with him, clutching him as tightly to his body as he could.

Kris woke up to the feeling of soft kisses being placed all over his face, a playful voice singing softly in his ear that it was time for him to wake up. He couldn’t stop the smile that slowly spread over his face or the moan of want as Adam slid his body over his own before delving in for a real kiss. Wrapping his arms around Adam’s neck, he tugged him closer, opening his legs and his mouth a bit wider as he responded to the overwhelming onslaught of feelings enveloping him. He as falling and he was falling fast as everything around him became more real. “Adam wait” He cried out, pushing himself away from the man looming over him with a confused look upon his face. “We need to talk” He rushed out, his voice ragged and uneven as he pushed himself further out of Adam’s reach.

“There’s nothing to talk about” Adam responded, quickly followed by a moan as he tugged Kris back under his body. “Talk is cheap” He grinned against tasty lips that he knew he would never tire of tasting. “I want you so bad Kris” He moaned even louder when their hardened cocks made contact yet again. “I’ve been forced to wait way too long for this”

“Adam…please” Kris begged, trying once again to push himself away from the man wrecking havoc on his senses. “Please…I need to tell you something” He tried again, his heart begging for him to stop and tell Adam the truth no matter what the cost, his dick and Adam’s insistent hands having something else altogether in mind.

“Whatever it is…it doesn’t matter” Adam murmured against his neck, nipping playfully at the exposed skin. “This is a fresh start for us Kris and none of that shit from the past matters” He got serious for a moment, pulling back enough to look down at the man who he had loved for so many years before hand. “I mean it…nothing else matters before this. I love you Kris and I want to spend the rest of my life proving to you how much those words are true”

“I…I love you too” Kris stammered, tears in his eyes as he wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss. In the back of his mind there was still a nagging doubt that he should really stop what they were about to do and tell Adam about the deal with the record company, but he forced it away, instead believing in the words that Adam had just said to him. The rest of the tour went by in blink of an eye and before either knew it they were back in Los Angeles.

“So what are we doing today?” Kris asked lazily over his shoulder as Adam spooned behind him early one morning.

“I don’t know about you but I’ve got a meeting with the label about the U.S. tour dates” Adam nuzzled Kris’s ear, wrapping his arms tighter around his chest as he pulled him closer against his body.

“Mmmm…” Was all Kris could muster as he turned around in those strong arms and kissed his lover good morning. He had a murmur of panic once again in that he should tell Adam the truth, but as Adam deepened the kiss it disappeared just as quickly as it appeared.

Adam couldn’t keep the smile off of his face or the spring out of his step as he did a little dance down the hallway of the music company towards his meeting. “You seem awfully happy today” He heard his assistant giggle as he looked over at her with love in his eyes. “Man…you really have it bad don’t you”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Adam grinned at her, humming happily because he had never felt as light and happy in his entire life.

“Please, I know you better then anyone else and don’t think that I haven’t noticed the changes in you since you returned back from your tour” She said with a smile and a wink.

“Love will do that to you” He winked back, walking into the conference room and taking a seat as he waited for the rest of the people to show up. “Could you…”

“Coffee…check” She cut him off already knowing what he wanted as he patted him on the shoulder before getting up and leaving him alone. He couldn’t stop thinking about Kris and all the naughty things he was going to do to the man once he got back to his place, but those thoughts were cut off as he assistant walked back into the room empty handed and a glazed look on her face.

“Everything ok?” Adam asked as she sat down beside him, seeming to avoid his eyes as she stared at the screen of her phone. “Sam, what…” But he didn’t get any further as the room filled with the big wigs of the record company and he was forced to focus on them instead. “What’s wrong with you?” He asked her several hours later as they sat in the car on the way to her apartment.

“Nothing” She lied, avoiding her bosses eyes once again.

“Sam, you’ve worked for me for a long time so you have to know that I know when you are lying” Adam replied in concern, taking the phone out of her hands and forcing her to look up at him. “What happened when you went downstairs to get my coffee?”

“Nothing…” She lied again, wanting so bad to protect Adam from what she had heard and yet knowing that if she didn’t tell him that someone else would. “I just heard a silly rumor about Kris and it just kind of threw me, but I’m sure that it’s just a lie and…”

“What kind of rumor?” Adam asked, cutting her off as his defensive side started to kick in for the man that he loved.

“Nothing…just forget about it” She reached for her phone, her hands falling in her lap at the expectant look she received from Adam. “I just heard that the only reason that Kris found you again was so you could help revive his career” She watched as a range of emotions played across Adam’s face, the final one being a look of determination that quickly took over, but the look in his eyes screamed fear. “I’m sure it just a nasty rumor and you know that Hollywood is full of them and...well you know Kris and he would never do that to you and…” She knew she was blabbering but she didn’t know what else to go.

“He wouldn’t do that to me” He spoke up, the words coming out flat as he tried to drown out the doubt that was creeping into his heart. “He loves me…he would never do that to me” He repeated, not able to look Sam in the eye as he handed her the phone and turned to stare out the window.

“I know and like I said I’m sure that it’s just a stupid rumor” She laughed, it sounding just as flat as Adam’s earlier words. “Do you need me for anything?” She asked as the car pulled up in front of her apartment, lying her hand on Adam’s arm in a show of support because she doubted that the rumor was false and she had a feeling that Adam knew it too.

“No…I’ll see you tomorrow Sam” He turned to face her, giving her a small smile before focusing back out the window.

“Call me if you need anything” She leaned forward and kissed her boss on the cheek, feeling useless and worried as she watched the car drive off.

“Hey…you’re home” Kris cried out happily as he ran from the kitchen attempting to pull his lover into a hug, stepping back when Adam didn’t return the gesture. “Everything ok?” He asked, his heart beating so hard within his chest at the lifeless eyes staring back at him.

“Why did you call me out of the blue that day?” Adam asked, taking in the frightened and guilty look staring back at him.

“Adam….please…let me explain” Kris stammered on his words because it was becoming almost impossible to breathe.

“Let you explain what Kris?” Adam’s voice rose, his heart breaking because just by the look on Kris’s face he knew that the rumor was true. “How you used me to boost your record sales. How you lied about missing me and…and loving me” He choked on the last part, taking a deep breath as his inner diva scratched and clawed within him to get out.

“Adam no…I never lied about loving you” Kris defended, jumping back when Adam threw his hands out in disgust before storming off towards the other side of the room. “You said it didn’t matter when I tried to tell you. I tried to tell you over and over again and you always told me that it didn’t matter”

“You should have fucking tried harder” His voice was cold and full of steel as he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the man who claimed to love him.

“I tried to tell you but as usual you wouldn’t fucking listen. Instead all you cared about was getting me into the sack and fucking me” He regretted the words the moment they exited his mouth, but his anger was starting to spike as well even though he knew he really didn’t have a right to.

Adam was shocked for a moment at Kris’s words, but that shock quickly turned to full out anger as he lunged forward and grabbed Kris by the front of his shirt. “You have a lot of fucking nerve saying that shit in my face after what you did to me” He spat, shaking Kris with each anger filled word. “What you did is no worse then being a fucking whore” He pushed Kris away, stalking across the room again before he punched the shit out of the shorter man. “You used me to move forward in your career and then have the nerve to try and turn it around to blame me…very classy Kris”

“You want to talk about class Adam” Kris mocked, crossing his own arms across his chest. “Let’s talk about how you already knew. You may not have known directly what I was getting at, but you knew that I was hiding something and yet you didn’t want to know what it was because you wanted the one thing that you didn’t think that you could ever have”

“Don’t fucking flatter yourself Allen” Adam scoffed, ignoring the fact that Kris’s words were hitting a little too close to home.

“Oh it’s not flattery. You said it yourself the night that we first fucked…that you had been made to wait to long for it. I wanted to tell you. I tried to tell you but all you could see was finally fucking the one person that you never thought you could have” His anger disappeared just as quickly as it appeared as he slumped against the wall, tears glistening within his eyes. “You knew Adam; you just didn’t want to hear it”

“I want you out of my house and my life for good” Adam replied with such forced venom that it nearly made him puke. He didn’t wait for Kris to respond; purposely avoiding looking at his face because he knew if he did it would be his downfall. Before he knew it he was in his car, speeding down the highway trying like hell to make sense of how fucked up his life had become in the last couple of hours. He drove for hours, finally having to stop for gas before he turned around and went back home. The house was dark as he pulled into the driveway, his heart breaking a little bit more at the realization that he had hoped that Kris would have stayed and fought for them. He didn’t bother to turn on any lights as he walked into the living room and fell heavily onto the couch, holding his head in his hands and he leaned forward and once again tried to make sense of everything. He had no idea how from one minute he had gone from feeling all happy and in love to feeling as if the world had ended and he had nothing else to look forward to ever again. The tears came next as he crushed his eyes closed and cried over the contents of his broken and confused heart. He ignored his cell phone as it rang from his pocket, ignoring the house phone as well when it rang a moment later.

“Adam…where the heck are you?” He heard Danny’s voice once the voicemail had picked up. “You and Kris were supposed to meet me over and hour ago. I swear if you two are…”

“Danny” Adam croaked, not allowing him to finish his sentence as he picked up the phone and held it to his ear. “Danny…I need you”

“Whoa…” Danny whistled over an hour later as he sat with Adam on his couch after hearing everything that had happened since he had last spoken to him

“Yeah…” Adam whimpered, wiping at his wet face as he took in a shuttering breath.

“I mean…but this is Kris man and it just doesn’t make sense” He was speaking more to himself then Adam as he got up and began to pace in front of the couch they had been sitting on. “Kris would never purposely hurt anyone, much less you who he has been in love with even before he and Katy were even divorced”

“He’s fooled us all” Another shuttering breath as he tried to get his breathing under control after talking for what felt like hours instead of just a few minutes.

“No…it still doesn’t make sense. I mean…it’s fucking Kris Allen. He’s not that guy Adam and you and I both know that” Neither one of them commented on his use of profanity because there was no doubt the situation warranted it. “Do you think…” He trailed off, not sure how to broach what he was about to say to Adam, but knowing that it needed to be said either way.

“Do I think what?” Adam asked, wiping at his eyes as he stared across the room at Danny.

“Do you think there is any truth to what he said, about it being more about sleeping with the one person that you never thought you could be with?’ He watched as anger crossed Adam’s face only to be quickly replaced by sadness and then resignation as he leaned forward and covered his hands with his face.

“You know I honestly don’t know anymore. I mean…I love Kris and I’ve always loved Kris and maybe part of it was that I was afraid that he would tell me something that would change everything and I then I couldn’t be with him. But, at the same time he lied to me Danny and he used me to get his career back. It just hurts you know” Adam closed his eyes, trying to cut off the flow of tears but only squeezing them out faster.

“I know he did, but maybe he didn’t have a choice” He sat down beside Adam. “Maybe they forced him to do this and…”

“Kris would never allow anyone, especially those assholes from the label to control his life like that” Adam cut him off because he knew Kris and he knew that he would never allow something like that to happen to him.

“Being threatened to lose everything will make even the strongest man cave” Danny supplied, giving Adam an awkward angled hug before standing up. “I have to go. I have a hot date with my best girl tonight” He said with a smile as he walked towards the front door. “Just promise me that you’ll look past all this drama that is going on and look at the real picture. Kris loves you and although he may have lied to you about a few things, there has got to be more to it then what we are seeing. Call me later…love you” He smiled sadly at his friend before taking his leave.

“It’s been days Adam” He heard his assistant say as she stood before him with a cup of his favorite coffee in her hand. “You keep pouting like that and you are going to get wrinkles” She waited for the outburst she usually received whenever she brought up aging in front of him, instead getting nothing as he took the coffee and gave her a sad smile before walking away. “Adam….why don’t you just call him”

“What’s my day look like?” Adam ignored her request, taking a sip from his cup as he gazed out into his backyard.

“I know you miss him and I’m sure that he’s missing you. He made a mistake Adam, but I don’t doubt for one second that he wasn’t being truthful about loving you” She knew she was pushing her luck, but she hated to see her boss hurting the way that he obviously was.

“I’m going to tell you this one more time” He turned to face her, his face angry and pinched as he strode towards her and shoved the half full cup of coffee back into her hand. “I don’t want to hear another single fucking word about Kris Allen. Do you understand me?” He roared, turning away and taking a deep breath because he knew he had no reason to be so angry at Sam when she was only trying to help. “I’m sorry…” He turned to face her again, his voice softer. “Just please…no more talk about Kris” He watched her nod, already knowing that she was dying to say more but thankful that she was heeding his wishes at least for the moment. “What does my day look like?” He asked again as he walked back towards the window, listening half-heartedly to her as she went over his schedule for the day.

“I know you asked me not to mention his name again” She said moments later, watching as Adam turned to face her once again. “But, you have a meeting with the label this afternoon and Kris will be there. It’s to go over the plans for the American leg of your tour. I can cancel it if you want”

“No…the tour starts in six weeks and I’m not going to let it suffer because of…” He didn’t finish his sentence; instead he just turned back towards the window and closed his eyes taking several deep breaths before he spoke again. “I be there” He exhaled quickly, eyes still closed as he fought the urge to break down into tears. The fact of the matter was that he missed Kris, that he still loved the man and wanted him back in his life. However, his ego just refused to even consider the idea because as much as he knew Kris really did love him, the fact that he had lied to him was like a stab to his heart every time that he thought about it.

“Where the fuck is this kid?” Adam heard one of the head men from the record company question the table, looking over at Adam in particular when Kris hadn’t shown up for the meeting.

“I have no idea” He tried to sound nonchalant, sounding anything but at the hitch in his voice when he tried to speak and breath at the same time.

“We’re just going to have to start without him. I don’t have time for this shit. I have three other meetings after this and if Kris Allen doesn’t think it’s important enough to show up for a meeting about his career then fuck him” The man growled, slamming his fist on the table loudly.

Adam was exhausted as he exited the room, eyes closed as he tried to wrap his head around what had just happened. He had gone into the meeting ready to bitch and carry on until Kris was dropped as his opening act, doing the complete opposite when it had been decided before hand anyway. He had jumped immediately to Kris’s defense when he had been called a washed up has been who was going to cause more harm then good to Adam’s career. No one seemed to care or want to listen as Adam explained to them over and over again that Kris was anything but and that he felt he would be an asset to the tour. He had ranted and raved and even threatened to quite the tour if Kris wasn’t allowed to be part of it, only to back down quickly when the threat of lawsuits and losing all he had gained were thrown back at him in response. He felt defeated and yet so confused as he tried to figure out why he had defended Kris, much less even considered giving up everything for the man who had lied to him about everything. “You’re stupid” his mind taunted him while his heart cried out “You love him” He wanted to cry, wanted to be angry, but he only felt numb as he opened his eyes and found Kris standing down the hallway from him. He looked messy and unkempt, something black smudged across his jaw and cheek. “You look like shit” The words popped out of his mouth before he could stop them, watching Kris flinch before he spoke.

“My car broke down on the highway and when I tried to call for help I couldn’t get any bars on my phone. I tried to fix it, but you know I’m clueless when it comes to car engines” He shrugged with a small smile, recalling an earlier time during Idol when the two of them had gone out shopping and the car had broken down. Kris had assured Adam that he could fix whatever the problem was as they sat on the side of the road, only to burn the shit out of himself the minute he opened the hood. He refused to admit defeat until one of their handlers pulled up behind their disabled car and took them back to the mansion. “How’d the meeting go?” He asked when Adam hadn’t said anything else.

“You’re off the tour” Adam responded bluntly, cringing internally for how harsh it sounded, but not taking it back or even trying to make amends when Kris nodded, his head hanging low before he looked back up at him.

“I’m sorry for what happened” He said slowly, biting at his bottom lip when it started to quiver. “I shouldn’t have agreed with them when they told me to do this, but I was scared and I was desperate, but despite that you didn’t deserve any of this” Taking a deep breath, he continued to look Adam straight in the eye. “But you have to know that no matter what my deception was, that I never lied about loving you. I know you don’t believe me and you have every right not to because my actions spoke otherwise, but I really do love you Adam”

Adam couldn’t say anything as he closed his eyes and forced away the tears burning the back of his eye lids. He wanted to run to Kris and pull him into his arms, but the fear of the unknown kept him from doing it. He wanted to believe him about the forced betrayal from the record company, wanted to believe that Kris really did love him and that they could move past everything, but he remained rooted in the same spot, his mouth suddenly feeling as if it were wired shut.

“Mr. Allen, your contract with this label has been cancelled” They both heard someone say, but Adam didn’t turn around to see who had said it, his eyes locked on Kris’s who seemed to be locked on his as well. “Have him removed from the building” Adam watched as two bulky men walked up to Kris, neither of them saying a word as Kris took one last look at Adam before walking in between them down the hall and out of Adam’s sight. “This is for the best Adam…you’ll see” He felt a slap on his shoulder as he continued to gaze down the empty hallway feeling more alone and empty then he had in his lifetime.

The ride back home was in almost silence as Sam sat beside him shifting and sighing in a way that was getting on Adam’s nerves. “Just spit it out already because I know you fucking want to” He sighed, no real fire in his words as he slumped back against the leather seat, eyes closed as he pinched the bridge of his nose waiting for her to speak.

“I’m just thinking about how much of a stupid idiot you are” Sam didn’t hold back, turning to face her boss, her friend and trying so hard not to shake the shit out of him.

“Thank you. I’ll remember that when it comes time for a raise” Adam grumbled, eyes still closed because he just didn’t want to deal with anymore drama and yet he knew that it was far from over.

“You just let him go Adam. You didn’t even fight for him” Her voice hitched, causing him to look up at her because in all the years that he had known her, he had never heard that tone before.

“I fought for him” Adam defended, his own voice raised in irritation even though he knew deep down that she was right. “The label had already decided to drop him. There was nothing that I could do”

“Fuck the label” She spat, anger clear in her eyes as she turned to face Adam fully. “He was right there in the hallway with you. He still loves you and I know you still love him” He didn’t even try to correct her, again his mind telling him he was a fool and his heart telling him that no matter what it still loved Kristopher Allen. “He laid his heart out to you and you just stood there like a fucking statue. You can’t honestly believe for one second that he did this just to advance his career can you?” She asked, tears in her eyes as she continued to glare at him. “They didn’t give him much of a choice. It was either do this or we are going to take everything you own from you. It was a shitty thing to do and he could have said no, but what would you have done if you had been in the same situation. What would you have done if it was you that was going to lose everything? Even the strongest man caves when he’s threatened to lose everything”

“I fucking hate that you talk to Danny” Adam finally found the will to speak, pursing his lips in irritation.

“He is my husband and it’s all thanks to you” She patted him on the arm, climbing out of the car, leaning against the open door once she had. “Because of you Danny was able to find happiness after his wife died. He was given a second chance and it’s been the best thing for both of us. “He loves you Adam and you love him. Get over the stupid stuff and find it in your heart to forgive him. You haven’t been this happy in a long time and you and Kris both deserve a second chance at love” Leaning forward she kissed him on the cheek before closing the door, watching until the car disappeared from sight before she rushed up the stairs of her apartment to be with the man that she loved.

Adam hated free time on any normal day, he also hated days off because days off meant that he had nothing but free time to sit and wallow at how fucked up his life had become. He was only two days into a seven day vacation and he already felt as if he was going to go insane with the endless hours of free time he had in front of him. He wanted to call Sam and insist that she book him for something, anything that would keep him busy and not allow him to think of Kris but thought better of it because he knew she might possible kill him for intruding on her time with her husband. He’d tried to call his friends to make plans, each of them having plans with their own life to deal with Adam and his drama. He couldn’t be mad at them no matter how much he wanted too because he had told them over and over again that this entire week had been set aside for Kris and he to relax and spend some time together alone before the tour started up again. Regret filled his heart as he looked down at the two pair of plane tickets sitting on the coffee table before him, one pair for a first class trip to Paris, the other for business class to Arkansas. Adam couldn’t help but smile as he picked up the Paris tickets remembering how excited he had been to present them to Kris, but that opportunity never came when Kris came bounding into the house with his own set of plane tickets in hand. Adam hadn’t been thrilled at first when Kris told him that he wanted the two of them to go to his hometown, but when he explained it was to tell his family and friends that they were together, he found that he couldn’t wait to get on that plane. Tears came to his eyes as he picked up the other set of tickets, remembering how they had fallen to the floor as Adam had pretty much tackled Kris to the floor and made love to him right then and there. “Fool” He berated himself, turning the television on for noise and something to do.

The TV only served to annoy him as he flipped from one crappy channel to the next. The few channels that he did try to focus on playing sappy love stories that only served to piss him off and upset him even more. He felt as if the universe was turning on him as he threw the remote control across the room, watching as he shattered into many pieces before he jerked himself off of the couch and into his bedroom. He didn’t know where he was going or what he was going to do once he got there, but he knew he had to go somewhere. He couldn’t stay home in his empty house any longer as he tried very unsuccessfully to forget about Kris. He took his time getting ready, picking out the perfect outfit, his make up impeccable still having no idea what he was going to do once he was done. He just knew that he had to leave, had to get out or go mad from the silence of space around him. Grabbing his keys and his wallet, he placed them in his pocket opening the front door to his home and nearly having a heart attack when he noticed someone standing there. “Hi…” Kris said weakly, a nervous smile on his face, but his eyes looking just as sad and lonely as Adam felt. “Oh…you’re going out” His voice was soft and unsure as he took in the way Adam looked. “Sorry…I should have called but I was afraid…” He couldn’t finish his sentence, eyes locked on the ground.

“That I wouldn’t answer” Adam finished for him, not doing any better as he fought the urge to pull the smaller man into his arms and just hold him until both of their pain went away.

“Yeah” Kris replied, finally looking up at Adam. “It’s just that I heard what you did for me at the meeting and I just wanted to say thank you. You didn’t have to do that after everything that happened”

“I didn’t do it for you. I did it for the fans. They’ve come to love their Kradam and I didn’t want to let them down” The words tasted vile as they spewed from his lips, wondering where the hell they were coming from because he didn’t want to say them and yet there they were.

“I know” Kris smiled quickly, looking down at the floor once again before moving them back up to look at Adam. “I just wanted to say thank you anyway” The smile was still on his face, but his eyes continued to scream out in pain. “I better go” He shrugged, sharing another sad smile before turning away from him.

“Kris wait…” Adam cried out, his heart hammering in his chest as the smaller man turned to face him with such hope in his eyes that it took his breath away. “You forgot these” He said quickly, running over to the coffee table that still held the plane tickets. “You wouldn’t want them to go to waste or anything” He mumbled, his breath catching in his throat at the absolute look of devastation he saw cross Kris’s face as he looked at the tickets.

‘I bought them for you” The same small smile from before was on his lips as he pushed Adam’s outstretched hand back towards him. “I have no use for them. Cash them in, upgrade for someplace more fabulous or burn them. Whatever you want to do” Once again he turned around, his feet refusing to move as he stood there with tears dripping down his face. “Please Adam” He begged, still not turning around to face him because he couldn’t bear to look at him if he were rejected again. “Please find it in your heart to forgive me” His words were hardly above a whisper but he knew Adam had heard them at the intake of breath he heard behind him. He waited for a few seconds more, tears flowing even faster when he heard the door close softly behind him. Closing his eyes, he pulled a deep breath into his lungs his feet finally finding the will to move as he began to walk towards his car. His own breath hitched when he felt a hand on his arm. He almost forgot how to breathe as he cautiously turned around and found Adam standing tearfully behind him. “I’m so sorry” Kris rushed out as he was crushed within a strong embrace he was sure he would never feel again. “I’m just so sorry”

“You were right about everything” Adam finally decided to come clean, grabbing onto the sides of Kris’s face as he looked down at him through watery eyes. “I knew…I knew you were trying to tell me something but I just didn’t want to hear it because I was afraid. I’m so sorry Kris…you have no idea how sorry I am and I don’t want to be away from you anymore. I love you. I love you so much and I want to share my life with you in whatever aspect you are willing to share with me” The words were flowing like a river and yet he didn’t care as he leaned down and kissed Kris carefully on the lips before pulling back. “Please don’t be mad at me Kris, even though I totally deserve it”

“I love you too” Kris cried out, wrapping his arms around Adam’s neck and holding on for dear life, content to stay that way for the rest of his natural born life, but Adam had other ideas as he took his hand and led him into the house and then into his bedroom where they made love to each other until they were too exhausted to do anything more then sleep. “Wake up baby” He heard someone whisper against his ear as he slowly opened his eyes and found Adam’s face hovering above .

“It wasn’t a dream?” He reached out towards Adam’s cheek tentatively, a smile crossing his face when he felt soft lips kiss his palm before he could reach it.

“It wasn’t a dream” Adam replied, leaning down and kissing Kris on the lips before sliding over until he was lying beside him. He wrapped his arms around Kris’s shoulder when he snuggled into his arms, closing his eyes and relishing the warm press of his body against his naked skin.

“I thought I was going to wake up in my own bed after realizing it was all a dream. I love you Adam” Kris kissed the freckled chest he was lying on, closing his eyes and praying to a higher power that Adam had been willing to give him a second chance.

“I love you too baby…love you too” Adam replied with a giggled yawn, kissing the mop of messy brown hair under his chin.

“Mmmm…” Kris murmured contently, kissing his chest yet again, still exhausted from their reunion. “And after a couple more hours of sleep I’m going to show you just how much” He yawned again, feeling happy and lazy as he snuggled even closer into Adam’s chest as they both drifted off to sleep.

The End…


End file.
